Thursday, July 27, 2006

The FOOL, I am

Foolish. That's what I would be called.

"I started a joke, which started the whole world crying."
The joke - my choices in life.

"I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing."
And when my choices are made and I'm proven wrong, the world starts laughing.
The fool I am.


I am but one of the others.
Now doesn't this sound familiar?
Haven't I come to this before?
Yes I have. Obviously someone hasn't learnt her lesson.
Too naive. And yet not learning.
Indeed, I haven't changed.

I am a fool.
Thinkin someone would make a choice I would have easily chosen.
But no, how stupid can I get?!
No one out there thinks for others.
To each his own - that famous phrase.

No one, not YOU YOU AND YOU, would make the sacrifices that I would.
Coz the only most important in this world is yourself.
Not the people around you.

I think about others all the time.
I accommodate. My greatest strength is agreeableness.
Not you you and you.
Open your eyes and smell the coffee.
Don't be oblivious to your surroundings.

I am but one of the others.
But more used than the others.
Only coz I allow myself to be made used of.
You are my companion only coz you have no others to choose from.

Not meant to be.
You tire from my company.
You tire from giving.
You have no capacity to love. For loving is giving.
Giving relentlessly.
And that you cannot do.

You are more the businessman than I am.
For you want something before you will do something.
Your opponent has to budge before you do.

You feel bad.
No you don't.
It's a temporary feeling.
For you could have done something about it.
But you chose not to.
Your choice, not mine.
Actions show. Show how much I mean to you.
I am but a pawn in your game.

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 10:20 pm 1 comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Round & round the mulberry bush...

My life is going in circles.
Just when I thought I was making progress, reality bites me in the butt & suddenly I see I've made a full circle once again.

This ain't the 2nd time or the 3rd or the 4th.
I've lost count.
Perhaps it's better that way.

Days like that make me feel like I've just been digging my own grave.
Deeper and deeper without realising. Coz I've just been shovelling away, out of habit.
And so this grave is now 10ft. deep.
Then what?

Then... nothing.

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 12:24 pm 4 comments

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hellllooooooo

I'm back!!

Hahaha... back from the dead?

Nay, just realised it's been a while since my last post.
Been busy with work. Work work work and nothing else but work.
But work, this time, is really interesting.

I don't have to do the same things everyday.
I get to move around, walk around.
I get to talk to people from all over the world.
[ssshhh, but there are good-looking young rich people in this world...]

Man oh man! darn, wish I didn't let THAT one slip away!
He's definitely a catch!

Got a study bible from a friend.
It's interesting to read now.
Food for thought:

I always had this thought. That everyday, you can flip thru the pages of the bible and God will point your eyes to the passage or page that he would like you to read.

If God talks to us in various ways, I'm sure that's one of the best ways he can do so. Afterall, it is his word, no?

Perhaps you have heard this before, or perhaps you have had the same thought, or even perhaps I heard it from somewhere but never thought hard about it or believed it much... but I just realised yesterday, that I know the world's greatest love story book: The Holy Bible.

Well, The Holy Bible can be read as:
- How to Love HTL101
- Everything about Love: What it should be & shouldn't be
- Greatest Love of All Time
- The Idiot's Guide to Love
- Step by Step Loving
- Rules of Love
- How to become the Greatest Lover in 2 weeks!
- Rich Love, Poor Love
- The Love Quadrant
- etc.

And the list goes on.

=) I think this is one my fav posts!

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 11:37 pm 2 comments

Monday, July 03, 2006

Too good to be true?

Something good happens and you wonder if something that great can actually happen.
You start to wonder if it's true.

Is it godsend or am I blinded?

Where once I would have been sure, I'm not anymore.

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 11:37 pm 2 comments

Made use of?

Ever met someone who can make use of a few people at a go and get away with it all?
Some people are just blessed. Funny how these exact people never realise that & appreciate those around them.

Friend or not, people just need to feel appreciated.
A simple thank you. Or a gesture to thank.

No sound no picture.
No I might not come. I'm kept waiting again.
It's f***ing irritating.

There is a HUGE difference between taking care of someone and being courteous.
Courteous is thanking the person who's helped you in more ways than you can imagine. A simple thank you would suffice. Taking care is helping someone you care about in every way you can. Taking care of someone isn't about patronising them.

Someone told me, "I think you're being unreasonably unfair to yourself."
In some way, I am. In fact, in too many ways have I been unreasonably unfair to myself. All for the sake of some people who don't appreciate.

Self-centred idiots. That's what they are. So selfish they turn ugly.
Too selfish to care. And not that they are unable to.
They take what they like. They run when they can't deal.
They come as they please. They go when it is most convenient for them.
They do you no favours. They feel like the world owes them something and not vice versa. They don't bother if they have inconvenienced others. They don't wonder if they have done something at the expense of others. They bend the truth as and when it fits them.

The best part: They get away with it scot-free.

Why? Perhaps people like their face. They are good-looking. They are charming. They sweet talk you into giving them what they want. They aren't straightforward and honest. They bend the truth to get what they want.

Funny how the person guilty of all this points a finger at me accusing me of the very same thing.
But yet, I have not run from anything. I care about how others feel, perhaps not in the perfect way but in best way I can. And I don't lie. In fact, those who know me would know I'm honest to a fault. So honest I'm blunt.

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 5:30 pm 2 comments

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Darkness?

"Take care of me."

There is a difference. The motive behind each time you say the phrase can be different. No one would know except you.

I look at everyone around me & there is a great sense of doubt when they talk about things that involve me.

"Oh yes, of course I remember, sweetheart..."
I don't believe all that.
I'm no bimbo.
In fact, I'm probably "damaged" but I ain't no bimbo.

No one can blame me for being guarded. For always second-guessing if people mean what they say & jumping right at them the moment they foul up.
I've been fooled too many a time.

For as much as you can sweet talk, I can hug you, kiss you etc, and it'll all be a lie. "What loss is there?" as someone put it to me.

If a person can hug and kiss and "sleep" with anyone, what does that person expect in a relationship then? A companion, a soulmate? Someone you can lie in the same bed with? Then why get married when you get all the physical stuff from anyone? Why have a girlfriend/boyfriend when you can have girlfriendS/boyfriendS?

What differentiates girlfriend/boyfriend from the rest of the people? Is it merely the term "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" or is it something more?

I am disillusioned. More than I would like to admit.

I'm afraid to put my feelings out there for I know how much trouble I could get myself into.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of self-centeredness... The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers... of love is hell."

"Nothing costs as much as loving - except not loving."

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 11:31 pm 1 comments

Lindt

Think Lindt & what do you get? Chocolates!

I'm officially Lindt until my name tag is ready.
I chose it. In fact I wanted Twinkle but the security dept. couldn't find it right after I spotted Twinkle. Kinda disappointed.

So it's Lindt for now.

It's funny how guests call me Lindt & I don't realise they are saying my name until a couple seconds later. =)

Work is great! Working at the Grand Club which is the VIP floor, with a separate reception + guest lounge + perhaps even room check-ins for REAALLLLYY important people.
I get to meet people & talk to them. Some are really nice, some regulars who ask me if I'm new there, some who are extremely touched by the level of service etc.

Colleagues are great! Everyone smiles at each other... just how I like it =)
Even if there are daggers hidden behind their smiles, without thinking or noticing those daggers, it's a nice warm fuzzy feeling of being at home with these people.

Job Status: Elated & job satisfaction derived.

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 11:23 pm 1 comments