Sunday, July 02, 2006

Darkness?

"Take care of me."

There is a difference. The motive behind each time you say the phrase can be different. No one would know except you.

I look at everyone around me & there is a great sense of doubt when they talk about things that involve me.

"Oh yes, of course I remember, sweetheart..."
I don't believe all that.
I'm no bimbo.
In fact, I'm probably "damaged" but I ain't no bimbo.

No one can blame me for being guarded. For always second-guessing if people mean what they say & jumping right at them the moment they foul up.
I've been fooled too many a time.

For as much as you can sweet talk, I can hug you, kiss you etc, and it'll all be a lie. "What loss is there?" as someone put it to me.

If a person can hug and kiss and "sleep" with anyone, what does that person expect in a relationship then? A companion, a soulmate? Someone you can lie in the same bed with? Then why get married when you get all the physical stuff from anyone? Why have a girlfriend/boyfriend when you can have girlfriendS/boyfriendS?

What differentiates girlfriend/boyfriend from the rest of the people? Is it merely the term "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" or is it something more?

I am disillusioned. More than I would like to admit.

I'm afraid to put my feelings out there for I know how much trouble I could get myself into.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of self-centeredness... The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers... of love is hell."

"Nothing costs as much as loving - except not loving."

Posted by PhyQuirks. at 11:31 pm 1 comments